This is called Talk Whisky To Me, but I haven’t been doing much talking lately. So in lieu of a conversation, and as an inquisitive science nerd with an interest in the creative bigger picture and the structure of the spirits industry generally, here are some things I have been wondering about.

~ What does innovation actually look like, for whisky? Is it even important, when the most commanding examples of whisky – and other spirits – appear to be produced under kind of basic, everyday conditions? Is it like Italian shoes – just use good materials, your imagination and skills, and build them to last?

~ is wierdness in whisky like wierdness in fashion, or music? That is, that bleeding-edge concepts must exist so that broader tastes and ideas have room to change and grow?

~ Is the industry big enough to accommodate everyone? (It has to be. And there’s this.) The recreational whisky lovers (me I suppose), the sartorially inclined whisky-gentleman, and those who live on some kind of whisky dark-web and communicate only behind locked doors in search of that last independent bottling from closed XYZ distillery that tastes like some combination of spring flowers, religious sacrifice, and dark, beautiful romance? (also what is that whisky, i want to drink it so I can write that exact tasting note)

~ What if the guy who paid $60,000 for a bottle of scotch whisky that he will never drink, bought 60 x $1,000 whiskies and helped others share the passion and expand their awareness of incredibly gorgeous examples of single malts? (It’s not his job to do that, unless it is. Too bad for us!)
~ What is exclusivity, anyway?
~ What is the role of conspicuous consumption in the whisky industry? Is the existence of the ‘luxury’ concept in fact alienating? Why do women pose in their underwear with whisky? Am I missing a promotional opportunity here (pls comment y/n)? On that note, why do men not do this? Can I even ask this? I mean, it’s all right there in my Instagram feed…
~ Scarcity. Is it all about the limited releases?

~ what actually happens, when you’re re-opening a closed distillery? Do you start from scratch but with a solid grasp of the distillery’s … raison d’être? Strive to re-create a product which was simply the result of a unique constellation of circumstances and people? Consider the relaunch of the (yes, fashion) Elsa Schiaparelli label when the woman herself is long gone. INXS after Michael Hutchence, maybe. Don’t scoff, but I was thinking that Walter Benjamin’s ideas about aura and authenticity might apply.

 

~ Is access to genuinely interesting whisky really only about who you know? (Not really, and being lazy certainly won’t help)
~ Do more bars sell expensive whisky in half pours yet?
~ Do we get to find out for ourselves how micro gravity influences spirit maturation?  Can us mere mortals taste it one day? Or do Ardbeg and the laboratory instruments have all the fun?

Also I dare someone to send a cask to (1) the moon and (2) mars but also how would an oak barrel cope with the G’s, would you have to test various casks at NASA first? Wait – I know someone who is working on the Mars mission…  #spacecooperage also surely it’s not just microgravity. What about the effects of atmospheric pressure, humidity, temperature, … we’re talking organic substances in a place where such things are unwelcome.  (also, #spacecooper should be a thing)

~ Back on Earth, in the meantime do I simply satisfy myself with learning more about distillery character and the myriad cask options and IBs that are available to me, without going broke? (easy answer: yes.)
~ Who actually invests money in new distilleries? How much money is being made, and lost? How long does it take to make money? is making whisky like being an artist? (no.)  How do you decide on the balance between bottle price, sales and distribution, and getting your whisky into as many hands as possible? Will gin always be the way in?
~ What sort of marketing budget do people have, more importantly if it’s a re-birthed cult distillery do you even need a marketing budget outside of an internet connection and a reasonable imagination? (“Reasonable imaginations cost money these days, Steve,” sighed Mel, as she stood leafing through a magazine in his office.)

~ New distillers. Whose advice do you seek? Whose opinions do you court, and why? How do you critique your efforts? Are you forgiving, open, brutal, goal-oriented?
~ Is all this just me? Honestly for TWTM I just want to sit by a river or on a beanbag or a lounge somewhere, with friends, and talk about stuff like this. With a nice whisk(e)y in hand.

The end.

 

Top photo: Educating Rita. Poppy field: Dave Shrubb. Walter Benjamin: these guys